June
- 2008
Natalie
"Clutter accumulates when energy stagnates and,
likewise,
energy stagnates when clutter accumulates."
Karen Kingston
Creating
Space: Inside and Outside
Every
new endeavor begins with making the space for it in our lives. Sometimes we have a dream or vision of what
we want to accomplish, but must first clear the space in our already crowded
lives to make it happen. The young
farmer in the film, The Field of Dreams,
illustrates this well when he believes in his vision of creating a baseball
field in the middle of nowhere, so that baseball greats from the past will come
to play on it. Encouraged by his
now-famous motto, "build it and they will come," he first must clear space
out of his cornfields, which are the major source of income for his family. This was necessary to make room for his dream
to be brought to life.
Other
times, creativity springs from the momentum of clearing out clutter, letting go
of old ideas, objects, or habits that are now acting as obstacles for the flow
of creative juices. Have you ever faced a
creative deadline, like writing a paper for a class, and found yourself
cleaning the house or organizing your closet instead or writing it? Perhaps procrastination is not the only
reason for this….perhaps the urge to clear space is a trigger for the
creativity needed to write the paper!
Creating
space by clearing clutter is relevant in many dimensions of our lives. I
discuss examples from four dimensions here:
physical space, time, relationships, and our internal experience of
ourselves. I hope these examples will inspire
you to consider other ways you want to create space in your life…
Creating
Physical Space
Creating
physical space doesn't need to be done in the large, theatrical dimensions of
the movie example above! For me,
clearing space to concentrate on a particular project can mean simply clearing
off my desk of all the papers and other distractions. Then, I place on the desk only those
materials that are directly relevant to the project at hand. Creating space doesn't need to mean clearing
all the clutter from the room, or the entire house, or building an addition onto
the house to create the perfect space envisioned in your dreams. It could, but it can also be as simple as
clearing off the extra chairs in the dining room so that guests can join you
for a meal.
Sometimes
we can create the environmental space we need by moving ourselves to it...we go
to the woods or the park to find fresh air and nature; we go to a house of
worship to find vast space and quiet; we go to a gym to have the space we need
to exercise. Creating or bringing
ourselves to a physical environment conducive to our needs is key.
Creating
Time
Crating
physical space is not the only way we may need to make room for something new
in our lives. Hand in hand with the
environmental space is the dimension of time.
We must make a time in our lives for what we want to create. On our calendars, our tangible representation
of time, we "block out the time" to focus on what is important to
create in our lives, and to resist the pulls of other distractions.
Creating
space for something new requires a time and a place for it. This is not enough - but it does create the
conditions for something new to grow.
Relational
Space
Relationships
need space to be nurtured and to grow, so they do not get cluttered with
outworn habits and stagnate. In my
therapy work with couples, I am always reminded of the importance of making
space for the relationship: a unique dynamic, energetic creation of the joint
efforts of the two partners. Creating
space for each individual in the couple is also important, but more easily
remembered.
Environmental
stress - such as caring for children, aging parents, financial or work demands
– can usurp the “we” space in a relationship.
When this is more than a temporary imbalance, the relationship is being
asked to withstand greater stress while being denied the nutrients it needs to
stay strong and healthy. The conflict
which can emerge becomes a kind of clutter which both reflects the stagnation,
and reinforces it. Entering couple’s
therapy is one way couples find to both create space and time for relational
growth and clear away some of the clutter.
How do you nourish your relationships?
Creating
Inner Space
~ Action On Purpose Challenge ~
Determine
where you most need to create space in your life, and begin to clear the
clutter away. Here are some ideas:
1 - To clear clutter in your home or office, pick one
room, or one part of one room, or one surface...and clear it entirely of
everything except what you want to see there.
Take a photo of the space you created. Then, for the remainder of the
month, make sure you pause to look at that space every day to enjoy it, and
feed the desire to keep it clear of clutter.
2 - Create some sacred space in your calendar. Block out time to do something that really
matters to you. Draw a box around it in
your calendar, and let nothing encroach on this time. (If something urgent does come up, which
happens, then move the box to another place in your calendar.)
3 – Create some special relationship time with a
significant other. Set up a time, go to
a mutually pleasant place, and agree to enjoy being together and resist
discussing any areas of contention or responsibility for the allotted
time. Have fun!
4 - Begin, or reinvigorate, a meditation practice,
taking the time to sit quietly, still the mind, and discover the vastness
within.
"Breathing in, I see myself as space.
Breathing out, I feel free."
Thich Nhat Hanh
~ In the News
~
On
June 20th, I'll be co-presenting a workshop on Relational-Cultural Mindfulness & the Brain as part of the Jean
Baker Miller Summer Advanced Training Institute at Wellesley College
Are
you contemplating retiring from your career or making some changes in your
life/work balance? As a certified facilitator for the 2Young2Retire course, I am preparing to offer the course by
tele-conference soon. If you are
interested in more information about the course and updates on the time and
starting date, click
here.
Would
you like to share your kind words
about Natalie's coaching, facilitating, speaking or writings? If so, please send them here. We
gratefully welcome your comments.
Check out my new website at www.EldridgeWorks.com, my virtual professional home. Find information about coaching and psychotherapy services, as well as more about me. I would love to hear your comments about the website, or the Action on Purpose newsletter. Contact me at Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com.