March - 2010
Dear Friends,
The recent Winter Olympics in Vancouver are still on my mind as March rushes forward. Though I enjoyed watching certain events, I was most inspired by the stories of the athletes - their focus on achieving a personal best performance despite incredible challenges and setbacks. These stories have inspired the article below in this issue of Action on Purpose.
Check out my upcoming workshop on Relational Mindfulness in March here. Along with some awesome colleagues, I’ll offer training in enhancing mindful presence and compassionate connection.
The purpose of this newsletter is to share with you simple and effective tools for personal, spiritual and professional growth. I have used these tools in my own life, so I know their power as well as their challenges. I have also utilized them in more than thirty years of professional work with others as a life coach, educator and psychotherapist. I offer them to you to try, adapt, and practice as methods to nurture your own growth.
Please send this issue to any friends who might be interested. Also, I would welcome your thoughts or comments on this newsletter. Have a great month!
Warmly,
Natalie
P.S. Interested in some support in clarifying your purpose or taking action on your purpose? Contact me for a complimentary coaching call to explore whether coaching could help you reach your goals!
“Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit.
We are all the same in this notion:
The potential for greatness lives within each of us.”
~ Wilma Rudolph
The Olympic Games have always been a source of great inspiration, for me and for many throughout the world. Not generally a sports spectator, I am drawn to the stories of the athletes themselves – of their commitment to their dreams and the rigors of training, of their nurturing of trust in themselves while navigating the unpredictable landscape of defeat and triumph. These stories are the inspiration for my thoughts on the connection between training, trust and triumph for each of us in our lives.
One story that has stayed with me through the years is Wilma Rudolph’s. Born the 20th of 22 children in the segregated south of 1940, she was a premature and sickly child, denied the kind of medical care available to her white peers. She was nursed and educated at home by her mother and encouraged by her older siblings. When she was diagnosed with polio and told she would never walk again, her mother found a black medical school 50 miles away that would treat her, taking her there twice a week until she could walk without the aid of crutches, braces, or corrective shoes. By age 12, Wilma could walk normally, and decided then to pursue her dream of becoming an athlete.
She became a basketball star on her high school team, after waiting on the bench to play in a game for 3 years of junior high. She was discovered by the coach of the women's track team at Tennessee State University, and began to train in track at the summer sports program there, since her high school didn’t have the funds for a track team. She went to her first Olympics in 1956 at the age of 16, winning a bronze in the 4x4 relay.
On September 7th, 1960, in Rome, Wilma became the first American woman to win 3 gold medals in the Olympics. She won the 100-meter dash, the 200-meter dash,and ran the anchor on the 400-meter relay team. Wow – what a story!
“I ran and ran and ran every day,
and I acquired this sense of determination,
this sense of spirit that I would never,
never give up, no matter what else happened.”
~ Wilma Rudolph
Training
Wilma’s story certainly illustrates the critical foundation of training in reaching dreams. She learned from her mother that she could overcome the physical expectations consigned to her by others. Her mother provided persistent nursing care for Wilma from birth, then daily physical therapy, until Wilma grew into a robust 12-year-old able to go to junior high school. There is something about the effort, and the miracle of that effort, that carried on into Wilma’s training as an athlete. It was not her triumphs that propelled her to the Olympic stage, but the way she dealt with obstacles and defeats – with patience, persistence, and trust in her abilities to improve, grow stronger, and to constantly raise the bar on what her body, mind and spirit together could achieve.
Training is something we do every day, whether we are conscious of it or not. We might be training ourselves to ignore or to desensitize ourselves to certain things while we are developing our focus on other aspects of life. The demands of modern life are constant, and it is easy to allow the external pressures to dictate our priorities and focus. This is why developing a daily practice of reflection, a time to reflect on our day and our lives, is so important. It is here that we can reinforce, or train ourselves, in the intentions and priorities we have set for ourselves in life.
What kind of training does your life and lifestyle provide you? What do you want to be in training for?
“Self-trust is the first secret of success.”
~ Ralph WaldoEmerson
Trust
So how does one develop the kind of trust and confidence that brings success? In Wilma’s story,we see the loving and industrious family which surrounded and nourished her throughout her childhood. There is nothing that nourishes confidence as much as someone placing their trust in us –believing in our potential and investing in it! Who are the people or communities that have nourished you in this life? Do you have a community of supporters now who believe in you?
Believing, or trusting, in oneself is a challenge for many. Sometimes there have been few supporters in the past, or the critical supporters have been lost. Sometimes we can feel overwhelmed by new or unexpected challenges, and our trust weakens. Taking on some “trust training” may be an important next step. Use of an affirmation, along with daily repetition and reinforcement, is a powerful training tool. But as with Wilma learning how to walk, and then to run, and then to compete – it takes time, patience, and persistent effort.
A community of support is the best antidote to failure in this regard. Finding others who will support your practice and training, even when you lose site of the goal, is imperative. This support may be found in friends, family members, a coach, a therapist, a religious group, a book group, a 12-step program, teachers of various kinds. Perhaps the source of such support is not yet obvious in your life. Then make this an intention – to find such support – and affirm the importance of this search even when you don’t know where you will find the support you need.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear,
but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid,
but he who conquers that fear."
~ Nelson Mandela
Triumph
We know of Wilma’s story because of her public triumphs at the Olympic games. But these are not her only, nor perhaps her greatest triumphs. Overcoming multiple illnesses and disability were also triumphs. Yet the triumphs that inspire me most about Wilma, and many other Olympians, have to do with the capacity to see the possibility beyond the current reality, while engaging fully and productively with the current reality. It is not allowing fear, or doubt, or frustration to overcome the dream. It is summed up in her words, “The potential for greatness lives within each of us.”
One way I have found to inspire “the audacity of hope” is to review my own life for the moments of triumph, however private or small. By celebrating these, and seeing the effort and defeat that laid the groundwork for these triumphs, I can bring new perspective to my current life. I invite you to identify your own triumphs, record them in some way, share them with someone else, and celebrate your own gold medal moments!
~ Action On Purpose Challenge ~
Take time today to reflect on what capacity, skill, or attitude you wish to develop in yourself. Is there more you could be doing each day to train yourself in this? Do you need support to develop this further?
· Write down the steps you could take to improve your training.
· Pick a next step, and share it with someone you have identified as a supporter.
· Trust in yourself and the potential for triumph, and walk forward with persistence and conviction!
“The triumph cannot be had without the struggle.
And I know what struggle is.
I have spent a lifetime trying to share what it has meant
to be a woman first in the world of sports
so that other young women have a chance to reach their dreams.”
~ Wilma Rudolph
~ In the News ~
Relational Mindfulness Workshop – Jan Surrey and I will again be leading a day-long workshop for therapists and other care-givers on Relational Mindfulness practices and concepts on March 27, 2010 in Wellesley, MA. We’ll be joined by Judy Jordan and Amy Banks of the Jean Baker Miller Training Institute to deepen our exploration of the union of Buddhist Psychology, Neurobiology, and Relational-Cultural Theory. We’ll also lead practices designed to enhance relational awareness and presence. Please consider joining me for this powerful experience! For more information: http://www.jbmti.org/content/view/1710/326/
Next Steps - Want to get going on a plan for the kind of life you want to lead in the future? Contact me for a complimentary coaching call to explore whether coaching could help you reach your goals! Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com For a great list of readings and resources, go to http://www.lifeplanningnetwork.org/index.cfm?action=main.resources
Care to Comment? - Have a comment about Natalie's coaching, facilitating, speaking or writings? If so, please send them to Testimonials@EldridgeWorks.com. We gratefully welcome your comments.
At www.EldridgeWorks.com, my virtual professional home, you will find information about coaching and psychotherapy services, as well as more about me. I would love to hear from you about the website, or the Action on Purpose newsletter. Contact me at Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com.