September – 2009

Dear Friend,

As the season changes once again, our attention is drawn to shiftsin the world around us.  A drop intemperature, changes in color of the vegetation, reminds us how we are affectedby our natural environment. 

Similarly, we are affected by the nature within us - thecommon and unique aspects of our identity caused by our DNA, our neurobiology,and our health.  We are also affected bywhat we have nurtured within ourselves over time - the skills we have learnedand the habits we have formed.

This issue focuses on the benefits of choosing to nurtureour natural strengths.  I hope in readingit you will identify and reinforce some of the natural talents you possess andrecognize or strengthen the ways you use these gifts in the world.

The purpose of this newsletter is to share with you simpleand effective tools for personal, spiritual and professional growth.  I have used these tools in my own life, so Iknow their power as well as their challenges. I have also utilized them in more than thirty years of professional workwith others as a life coach, educator and psychotherapist.  I offer them to you to try, adapt, andpractice as methods to nurture your own growth.

Please send this issue to any friends who might beinterested.  Also, I would welcome yourthoughts or comments on this newsletter. Have a great month!

Warmly,

Natalie

Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com

P.S.  Interested insome support in clarifying your purpose or taking action on your purpose?  Contact me for a complimentary coaching callto explore whether coaching could help you reach your goals!

“Everything in our universe has a nature,

and that nature needs to be nurtured. 

This implies that there are limits to everything

and everyone, as well as great potential and capabilities

that have yet to be discovered.”

~ Anne Bruce, author of DiscoverTrue North

Nature and Nurture

Long has been the debate about how much our personal traits and behaviors are determined by our biology, and how much by our environment,or learning.  Regardless of what you believe, few would disagree that each has a significant impact on our lives.  How we combine the two is perhaps the most powerful relationship between nature and nurture to understand!  We all have predetermined traits and tendencies– and we all have some choice in what and how we nurture our nature.

The study of human behavior was initially influenced by the field of medicine with it’s focus on diagnosing illness and finding cures.  But there has always been a branch of psychology studying human potential and strengths – focusing on what we are capable of as a species and how to nurture the best within that.  Whether called Humanistic, Transpersonal, Relational, Positive or some other label, these movements within the study ofhuman behavior and potential have given us many tools for understanding how to nurture our nature.

One example can be seen in the field of career development or vocational psychology.  Recognizing the need to contribute our skills toward some common or community effort as a basic human need, this field has offered many tools to help us recognize and name our strengths and then identify places to apply those strengths in ways that benefit both the individual and the community.

Identifying OurStrengths

In using various types of career testing techniques over the years, I have come to understand both their utility and their limitations.  I have noticed that many test-takers tend to look at the results in ways that limit their potential utility.  For instance, college students I have worked with tend to give the results a kind of authority, as if “the test will tell me what I should do.”  Rather than seeing the results of an interest inventory as one useful snapshot in a collage of images available to understand themselves, they come away from the experience saying,“ the test showed I can’t become an artist” or “the test says I should be an airline hostess.”

A single photograph captures a moment in time - a typical expression, a certain style of dress or presentation, a particular environment- as well as the influence of the camera quality and the photographer.  A photo can also speak a thousand words.  These words, however, are open to the interpretation of the viewer.

Start your “strengths assessment” by writing down a few words or phrases that represent positive traits or strengths you are aware of having.  Resist the temptation to criticize your identification by coming up with all the ways you don’t always  show this trait, or ways you feel others possess more of it than you.  For instance, “I care about other people” may come to mind immediately as a positive attribute, because you do care. Don’t be tempted to erode this strength by thinking of all the times you didn’t notice someone, or didn’t contribute to someone else’s needs, etc.  Simply stick with the initial affirmative thought and write it down.

Often what we are good at is so “second-nature” that we take it for granted, and thus overlook these strengths. Your friends and family can often see more readily some of the qualities you possess than you can. Try asking others, and add that data to your own reflections.

Once you have done some reflecting on your own and some checking with those who know you well, you might want to add the data of an inventory designed to help you identify strengths.  This can be useful as an additional snapshot of yourself, not as the only analysis of your strengths.  I recommend the VIA Survey of Character Strengths that you can find online at the Authentic Happiness research website at the University of Pennsylvania.  You can find this site at www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu

Nurturing OurStrengths

The first step in nurturing our strengths is to identify them and acknowledge them to ourselves, as just outlined.  What are the natural strengths you have identified in yourself?

Once you identify a “natural trait or strength,” the next step is to put it in a positive context. All traits are useful in some situations and rather problematic in others.  Come up with some examples that illustrate how your trait has been useful to you.  Being persistently argumentative with your parents may not seem like a positive trait, but as a lawyer or an arbiter,arguing your case persistently can be a valuable skill!  It all depends upon the perspective from which you view the natural tendency.  How can you best view each of your traits as a strength?

Next, it is important that you accept that your natural talents are not enough – they must be used and amplified in a disciplined way to become true strengths.  When we recognize that we have a talent for something, it is natural to also notice that others can do that same thing even better. This observation can help to motivate us to develop our talents. How can you use your talents in more situations? How can you improve upon your natural talents and turn them into authentic strengths?

Finally, let others know about your strengths.  If you are using them more, others will notice.  In addition, find ways to talk about your strengths with others – not only someone interviewing you for a potential job, but with strangers, family and colleagues.  Get comfortable with your strengths so that others can recognize and accept them as well!

“Success is achieved by developing our strengths,

not by eliminating our weaknesses.”

~ Marilyn vos Savant

“Always be a first rate version of yourself,

instead of a second rate version of somebody else.”

~ Judy Garland

~ Action On Purpose Challenge  ~

1. Come up with five personal characteristics that you feel are inherent or a natural aspect of who you are.
2. Find a way to frame each one as a strength – how do you use each of these characteristics in positive ways for yourself and others?
3. Amplify and develop your positive traits by using them more consistently and in more situations.
4. Tell someone else about your discoveries, and practice affirming your natural strengths!

~  In the News  ~

Next Steps - Want to get going on a plan for the kind of life you want to lead in the future? The 2Young2Retire course can help.  A certified facilitator, I offer the course by tele-conference.  If you are interested in more information about the course and updates on the time and starting date click here.

Would you like to share your kind words about Natalie's coaching, facilitating, speaking or writings? If so, please send them here.  We gratefully welcome your comments.

At www.EldridgeWorks.com, my virtual professional home, you will find information about coaching and psychotherapy services, as well as more about me.  I would love to hear your comments about the website, or the Action on Purpose newsletter. Contact me at Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com.