Optimizing Optimism
October - 2009
Dear Friends,
I notice the growing patches of yellow, orange and red amidst the foliage on my jaunts around town. The air is cooler, even crisp at times. Darkness is coming earlier each evening, and staying later each morning. The pessimist in me dreads the coming ice and snow, the layers of clothing soon to restrict my movement, and the impact of the dwindling hours of light. Yet the optimist in me embraces the beauty of the autumn pallet, the thrill of the brilliant sun and cool air, the daily change of landscape and sky. In this moment I choose to throw off that cloak of pessimism and honor the optimist within, declaring October to be my very favorite month!
This Action On Purpose issue focuses on optimism and the benefits of choosing to find and focus on the bright side of whatever we encounter. The research done on optimism is one of the most influential forces in modern psychology. It has influenced the way social scientists understand child development, learning, and education, and how we think about work, motivation and aging. I hope you find this discussion reinforcing your own inner optimist!
The purpose of this newsletter is to share with you simple and effective tools for personal, spiritual and professional growth. I have used these tools in my own life, so I know their power as well as their challenges. I have also utilized them in more than thirty years of professional work with others as a life coach, educator and psychotherapist. I offer them to you to try, adapt, and practice as methods to nurture your own growth.
Please send this issue to any friends who might be interested. Also, I would welcome your thoughts or comments on this newsletter. Have a great month!
Warmly,
Natalie
P.S. Interested in some support in clarifying your purpose or taking action on your purpose? Contact me for a complimentary coaching call to explore whether coaching could help you reach your goals! See the Special Discount Offer for readers in the “In The News” section below.
“I can't change the direction of the wind,
but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”
~ Jimmy Dean
“Looking on the bright side.”
“Every cloud has a silver lining.”
“See the glass as half full instead of half empty.”
These sayings capture the common understanding of what optimists are able to do, especially in adverse situations. But what is optimism, really, and is it an innate trait or something we can learn?
These are questions explored by psychologist Martin Seligman over the past three to four decades. Much of his work is
presented in his book Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. What he discovered is that not only can optimism be learned, but that it is a key trait associated with greater happiness, health, and longevity! Here is a summary of major elements of his findings.
Learned Optimism
We all have within us optimistic and pessimistic ways to view the events that happen to us. The way we explain events to ourselves determines how optimistic or pessimistic we are in a given situation. Like any habit, repetition of a particular way of viewing things develops into an explanatory style that, in turn, becomes a characteristic trait. Seligman proposes that there are two crucial dimensions to our explanatory style: permanence and pervasiveness.
If we believe that negative events that happen to us are permanent – “I’m always losing things” or “I never get a break” – this leads to a pessimistic and hopeless style. If, however, we view negative events in qualified ways – “I sometimes lose things”or “lately I can’t catch a break” – this reflects a more hopeful, optimistic style. When we fail at something, or experience a disappointment, we all feel a sense of helplessness. Yet how long this lasts depends on the way we explain what has happened. The most optimistic folks recover from the setback most quickly, while the more pessimistic people have greater difficulty in moving past a negative event.
The attribution of permanence goes the opposite way with regard to positive events. People who believe positive events have permanent causes are more optimistic than those believing they have transient causes. In response to getting a favorable job promotion, an optimistic person will feel they earned and deserve the promotion, while a more pessimistic outlook would see this positive event as a random stroke of luck, or a fluke.
While permanence is about how long something lasts, pervasiveness refers to how universal something is viewed to be. When a negative event happens, a pessimistic view is to see this as a universal problem. “All teachers are unfair” or “diets never work.” A more optimistic view would see problematic events in more specific terms: “my math teacher is unfair” or “diets don’t work when I’m traveling.” Thus, the more optimistic person is able to contain negative events to a certain domain of their experience, while continuing to do well in others. The more pessimistic person, however, will tend to let a setback in one arena of their lives cause them to feel helpless and give up in every area.
Optimizing Optimism
Habits are changed by first recognizing the habit and then intentionally replacing the habitual behavior with a new response. As is true of any behavior change, it takes practice and repetition over time. It is encouraging to know that there is abundant evidence that this process can be effective in increasing the practitioner’s optimism.
Seligman offers a method for how to go about building optimism that involves recognizing pessimistic thoughts as they occur and then disputing them. From teen years on, we all develop ways to dispute other’s words or perceptions, especially when they threaten or accuse us of something that seems unfair. Using these skills, Seligman suggests we dispute our own pessimistic thoughts when we accuse ourselves of something thoughtlessly. He suggests arguing against our own pessimistic thoughts by using what he calls the ABCDE Model.
Adversity– recognition of our own pessimistic thinking in response to some event, positive or negative.
Beliefs– what we automatically believe when some kind of adverse event happens.
Consquences– the usual consequences of our beliefs; what we feel, do, and/or say.
Dispute– the process of disputing our own routine beliefs.
Energy– the energy that arises from successfully disputing our routine beliefs.
This may sound easier than it is to practice. I suggest starting with someone to support you – a friend, family member, coach, or therapist. The key is to ask your friend to help you follow the model above, not to do the disputing for you!
This example involves a rather shy but lively woman in a new job setting:
A – I admire my boss, but I feel so awkward around her.
B – My boss hates me and thinks I am doing a poor job.
C – Because I feel she hates me, I avoid her, and feel even more anxious around her than I ordinarily would, and act more stilted.
D – Actually, my boss is a nice person, and probably doesn’t hate me. In fact, it is more accurate to say that she doesn’t know me very well yet, and my avoiding her doesn’t help her know me any better.
E – If I make a point to reschedule our missed supervision session and admit my uncertainty about how I am doing at my new job, I bet she’d listen well and get to know me better. Her feedback and guidance would really help me in adjusting to this new job situation.
The Paradox of Optimism
It might seem in this short summary that the object of optimizing optimism is to eradicate pessimism and develop a purely optimistic perspective. After all, the limitations and drain of a pervasive pessimism lead to helplessness, depression, and a loss of hope.
But to always turn away from pessimism and hold rigidly to an optimistic perspective has its own limitations. We can develop unrealistic illusions about ourselves or our world, or fail to take full responsibility for our own actions. Seligman speaks of developing the courage to “endure pessimism when its perspective is valuable.” We want to be able to use pessimism’s keen awareness without having to dwell forever in its shadows. So a healthy sense of optimism is a flexible optimism – an optimism chosen out of seeing various perspectives on a situation - not a blind optimism.
Want to learn more about this optimism? You might take the Optimism Test you can find online at the Authentic Happiness research website at theUniversity of Pennsylvania. Check out this site at www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu. You might also want to read Seligman’s books yourself, especially Learned Optimism,which you can find in a local bookstore or online.
“Habits of thinking need not be forever.
One of the most significant findings in psychology
in the last twenty years is that individuals
can choose the way they think.”
~ Martin Seligman from Learned Optimism
~ Action On Purpose Challenge ~
- In the next week, without seeking out adversity, identify one time you engage in pessimistic thinking when something happens you experience as adverse or negative. It could be an embarrassing moment at work, someone cutting you off in traffic, or a strained interaction with a family member.
- Apply Seligman’s ABCDE model to argue against your own thoughts and beliefs that are triggered by this event.
- For extra credit, identify one positive event that leads to pessimistic thinking. For example, someone might thank you for something and instead of feeling good, you notice you begin to dwell on how you really don’t do enough to be appreciated for, etc. Or an exciting opportunity may come your way that leads to self-doubt and expectations of failure.
- Now, apply Seligman’s ABCDE model to argue against your own thoughts and beliefs that are triggered by this positive event.
- Remember, it may be easier to do this by talking it through with someone else, or by writing about it in your journal.
~ In the News ~
Action-On-Purpose-Coaching-Special– 50% off coaching fees to new clients signing up before December 15, 2009!
I am thrilled that more and more folks are joining the community of readers for my newsletter, and in appreciation, I am offering a half-price discount to readers who commit to a coaching contract with me before the end of 2009. It’s been a tough economic year for so many, so if you’ve been thinking about hiring a coach, and you like what you read in this newsletter, this is a great time to take the leap! To take advantage of this offer, contact me at Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com and mention the half-price coaching discount!
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At www.EldridgeWorks.com, my virtual professional home, you will find information about coaching and psychotherapy services, as well as more about me. I would love to hear your comments about the website, or the Action on Purpose newsletter. Contact me at Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com.
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