Dear Friend,

Last month, I wrote about developing a daily practice. This month, I want to address what happens on the journey once we begin.  Whether your goal is to develop a daily practice of some sort, or to finish a project, or to change a habit, I hope this discussion of the paradox of effort and effortlessness will be of support.

The purpose of this newsletter is to share with you simple and effective tools for personal, spiritual and professional growth.  I have used these tools in my own life, so I know their power as well as their challenges.  I have also utilized them in more than thirty years of professional work with others as a life coach, educator and psychotherapist.  I offer them to you to try, adapt, and practice as methods to nurture your own growth.

Please send this issue to any friends who might be interested.  Also, I would welcome your thoughts or comments on this newsletter.  Have a great month!

Warmly,

Natalie

Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com

P.S.  Interested in some support in clarifying your purpose or taking action on your purpose?  Contact me for a complimentary coaching call to explore whether coaching could help you reach your goals!

Be not afraid of going slowly;

be afraid only of standing still. 

~Chinese Proverb

Effort and Effortlessness

 Ah, summertime -  a time of vacations, lush vegetation, long evening walks, pond & ocean dips, “lazy” & creative moments that stretch into hours…  As I rest in a lounge chair in the shaded back yard, I wonder why it is so hard to maintain the ease of this rhythm throughout the rest of the year.  Can’t we be productive while moving at a pace a little slower and more relaxed?  These are the thoughts that led me to think about effort and ease - the time for climbing the mountain, and the time for stopping along the way to enjoy the view.

We all know that it takes effort to achieve any goal, while too much effort can burn us out or wear away our willingness to persevere. Taking it easy, welcoming ease into the effort, is a way to both protect our bodies and spirits while also maintaining the forward movement of the effort. One important element is to know yourself…what is the balance that works best for you, and how can you support that balance? 

My yoga instructor often invites us, at the beginning of class, to check in with our bodies to clarify what we need in the class.  Have we been active and running around all day?  Then we may need to calm the body, relax the muscles.  Have we been sedentary most of the day?  Then we may need to challenge and activate the body, choosing different postures or intensity of effort.  How tired are we?  Does the mind need to be more focused or more at ease to be present in the moment? So it is in yoga class and in life.

Jon Kabat-Zinn writes beautifully about the paradox of effort and effortlessness in the practice of mindfulness meditation. He describes how many people sense that they cannot meditate because what happens when they pay attention to their breath is not what they expect, so they don’t feel like they get to the place they are expecting to go.  But meditation is a practice of non-doing, of not trying to get someplace else, but just being with where you are.  This “non-doing” is not to be confused with “doing nothing.”  Consciousness and intention are required to be present with what is.

“Non-doing simply means letting things be and allowing them to unfold in their own way.  Enormous effort can be involved, but it is a graceful, knowledgeable, effortless effort, a ‘doerless doing,’ cultivated over a lifetime” (Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go There You Are).

I bring in meditation as a practice of cultivating effortless effort, teaching us to be aware and accepting of whatever is present in the moment. But the goal of this practice is to be better able to bring mindfulness into each moment, into our every activity.  Being with what we are doing right now, without attachment to what will come next or what has happened before, allows us to experience this effortless effort, or what some have termed “flow”.

Here are some reminders I use to help me accomplish my goals with more ease in the EFFORT:

Energize yourself by remembering or revisiting the enthusiasm that got you started. “Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Follow through on your intentions, even if you are way behind the timetable you thought you were on.

Focus on one part at a time, so that you can make forward progress without a sense of great or endless effort.

Organize your project into a sequence or grouping of small parts or tasks. Write the pattern down, or draw a picture, that can remind you of the progress you are making as pieces of the project get accomplished.

Repeat your intention, perhaps in the form of an affirmation, often.  Keep reminding yourself of your purpose: i.e., “I am exercising to improve my overall stamina”; “I am clearing out this closet to make room for a fresh, more stylish wardrobe”.

Take your time.  The operative word here is “your” time.  Do not compare your progress with what others are doing, but with the power of your own intentions and goals.  I have often held an intention for years, while feeling unready to begin acting on it.  Then, one day, I feel a subtle shift into readiness and I begin action with an ease and steadiness that always surprises me.  This is how I understand taking “my” time.  What is your pattern with successful action?

Even if you're on the right track,

you'll get run over if you just sit there. 

~Will Rogers

~  Action On Purpose Challenge  ~

1 –Pick one project or practice that you feel stuck or stalled with.  Write down your intention for this project or practice:  What it is, how you plan to accomplish it, why it is important to you.

2 – Apply the EFFORT scheme above:  Energize, Follow through, Focus, Organize, Repeat,  Take Your Time.

3 – Observe what helps you ease into the effort, and what stops you in your tracks. Let go of an attachment to particular results as you ease into working on some aspect of the whole.

4 – Keep breathing and smiling!

~  In the News  ~

Older Workers on the Increase –A Report from the National Council on Aging

Between 1977 and 2007, employment of workers aged 65+ increased 101 percent, compared to a much smaller increase of 59 percent for total employment (aged 16+), according to new data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS).

The number of employed men aged 65+ rose 75 percent, but employment of women aged 65+ increased nearly twice as much, climbing 147 percent. While the number of employed people aged 75+ is relatively small (0.8 percent of all employed in 2007), this group had the most dramatic gain, increasing 172 percent between 1977 and 2007.

In a separate new report from the Urban Institute, researchers state that employers value older workers for their maturity, experience, and work ethic, but they also worry about out-of-date skills and high costs. Future jobs, the experts predict, will require less physical demands and more cognitive and interpersonal skills--trends that favor educated older workers--but job opportunities for less educated older workers may remain limited.

• Read BLS report.
• Read Urban Institute report.

Are you contemplating retiring from your career or making some changes in your life/work balance? As a certified facilitator for the 2Young2Retire course, I plan to offer the course by tele-conference in the fall.  If you are interested in more information about the course and updates on the time and starting date, click here.

Would you like to share your kind words about Natalie's coaching, facilitating, speaking or writings?  If so, please send them here.  We gratefully welcome your comments.

At www.EldridgeWorks.com, my virtual professional home, you will find information about coaching and psychotherapy services, as well as more about me.  I would love to hear your comments about the website, or the Action on Purpose newsletter.  Contact me at Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com.

Dear Friend,

I had an amazing experience co-presenting the workshop on Relational-Cultural Mindfulness & the Brain as part of the Jean Baker Miller Summer Advanced Training Institute at Wellesley College in June! The group attending brought a rich open-heartedness to the experience that was deeply connecting.  Jan Surrey, Amy Banks and I developed a presentation that blended our perspectives well, and we may soon write about this work.  Stay tuned.....For more information:  www.wellesley.edu/JBMTI/sti.html

A special welcome to all the new subscribers to Action On Purpose, many of whom attended the workshop above.  This month's article builds on the tools I highlighted in the past 3 months. You can read previous issues on this site by clicking the Newsletter category in the right column.

The purpose of this newsletter is to share with you simple and effective tools for personal, spiritual and professional growth.  I have used these tools in my own life, so I know their power as well as their challenges.  I have also utilized them in more than thirty years of professional work with others as a life coach, educator and psychotherapist.  I offer them to you to try, adapt, and practice as methods to nurture your own growth.

Please send this issue to any friends who might be interested.  Also, I would welcome your thoughts or comments on this newsletter.  Have a great month!

Warmly,

Natalie

Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com

P.S.  Interested in some support in clarifying your purpose or taking action on your purpose?  Contact me for a complimentary coaching call to explore whether coaching could help you reach your goals!

"We learn and grow and are transformed

not so much by what we do

but by why and how we do it."

Sharon Salzberg

Developing a Daily Practice

Many people I have worked with express a yearning to engage in a spiritual practice of some sort, a regular activity that will help them grow into their deepest purpose.  At the same time, many express a belief that they do not have the time, the discipline, or the worthiness to begin.  What they often overlook is that they have already begun! The yearning itself is an awakening, the beginning of their journey.  Acknowledging the yearning to themselves and others is another important step.  A daily practice that honors this yearning each day can provide a steady and nourishing anchor that allows the awakening to grow and deepen over time. When beginning a new spiritual practice, allow yourself to take small steps so you can savor the process.

What do I mean by a practice? A spiritual or growth-fostering practice includes three elements: intention, regular repetition, and presence. It is the intentional development of a habit through regular repetition, while bringing ourselves to each repetition with freshness and an open-heart. There are many intentional habits or rituals we have already developed, such as brushing our teeth, making lunch, or driving a car. However, in these examples, we tend to be present only as we learn how to do these activities. As the activity becomes habitual, we are able to do them without much attention at all.  It is the element of presence, the fresh attention of mindfulness, which makes an intentional practice into a growth-fostering or spiritual practice.

Some common forms of practice include prayer, meditation, dietary practices, chanting, yoga, tai chi, dance, social action, artistic endeavors, and communing with nature. Communities of worship provide opportunities to practice with others regularly. The variety of practices suggests that there are many roads to growth and the deeper expression of purpose. In developing your daily practice, pay attention to what you feel drawn to do. You may want to revisit a practice learned in childhood - bringing a fresh meaning and intention to the practice. You may also be drawn to try new practices you have had little exposure to.

Intention

The intention we set as we enter our practice each time is a powerful guiding light. What is important for you to develop in yourself, and in your life? What are you seeking? Our intention can be held in our hearts, envisioned in our minds, or spoken as an affirmation (see the April issue on Affirmations).  Intention is also something we become more aware of as we look within...we discover the intentions that are already motivating us that we were perhaps unaware of. So in our practice, we both attend to our intentions through observation, and intentionally hold certain intentions in order to strengthen them.

One of my early meditation teachers often spoke of the significance of intention. Through committed meditation over many years, he suggested, there is the potential of becoming an enlightened being, or a monster, depending on the intention or ideal that we hold in our hearts.

Repetition

How often? Regularly! I suggest a daily repetition because so much of our lives are structured around a 24-hour cycle. Of course, there are many practices that would be difficult to make daily ones.  If one attends a community of worship as a practice, this is more likely to be once or twice a week than every day. Still, finding a way to honor our deepest intentions each day can have a life-altering impact! Linking your practice to another ritual that is already well established can help, like meals, waking up, driving to work, going to bed, etc. Here are a couple suggestions for simple and powerful practices that can be done at least daily:

1 - Pause before eating to get in touch with your gratitude...for life, nourishment, family…for whatever you feel grateful.

2 - Write down one affirmation that expresses your deepest intentions, and read it aloud every morning upon waking. Quietly contemplate your affirmation/intention for a few minutes after reciting it.

Presence

Being wholly present and fresh for each repetition is perhaps the most important, and most challenging, aspect of an ongoing growth or spiritual practice. Mindfulness practices, like mindfulness meditation, are designed to uncover the ways we move away from the present, and to strengthen the capacity to be in the moment without judgment or attachment. Once we can recognize and return to moments of mindfulness, we can bring them to any repeated activity and turn it into a spiritual practice: mindfully brushing our teeth; mindful driving; mindful eating.

Finally, as you contemplate your spiritual practice, remember to start small.  The desire or yearning to develop, or renew, a spiritual practice is the seed within you that has already awakened.  Now you can find a way to gently water it each day, a little at a time.  We do not need to sit in meditation, or kneel in prayer, or do yoga for an hour every day to have a spiritual practice. Many do, but you will find that they began with a yearning too, and then a few moments of practice here and there, and eventually developed a more regular and sustained pattern of practice over time. Taking a class or going on a retreat is very helpful in deepening and supporting your practice, but cannot replace the process of remembering and honoring your deepest aspirations, in whatever form, in your everyday life. Better to spend one moment in mindful presence while doing a mundane task, than to spend hours in repetition of practices without being awake to the present.

"We need to remember that where we are going is here,

 that any practice is simply a means to open our heart to what is in front of us.

 Where we already are is the path and the goal."

Jack Kornfield

~  Action On Purpose Challenge  ~

1 –Create a daily practice that you feel honors a valued intention or spiritual ideal. Start small; you can always expand it if you want to later. Describe your practice in writing on an index card or in your journal.

2 - Make a commitment to repeat this practice daily for a predetermined period of time.  I suggest 1-3 months at minimum.

3 - Link the practice to a time of day or activity that you do every day, to help ensure your regularity.

4 - Share your commitment with a trusted friend or loved one, and ask for their support. You are welcome to email your practice description to me...I would be honored!

~  In the News  ~

Are you contemplating retiring from your career or making some changes in your life/work balance? As a certified facilitator for the 2Young2Retire course, I am preparing to offer the course by tele-conference soon.  If you are interested in more information about the course and updates on the time and starting date, click here.

Would you like to share your kind words about Natalie's coaching, facilitating, speaking or writings?  If so, please send them here.  We gratefully welcome your comments.

Check out my new website at www.EldridgeWorks.com, my virtual professional home.  Find information about coaching and psychotherapy services, as well as more about me.  I would love to hear your comments about the website, or the Action on Purpose newsletter.  Contact me at Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com.

Dear Friend,

Welcome to the third issue of Action On Purpose, the monthly newsletter of EldridgeWorks.com.  I hope you have enjoyed working with your breathing over the past month! 

The purpose of this newsletter is to share with you simple and effective tools for personal, spiritual and professional growth.  I have used these tools in my own life, so I know their power as well as their challenges.  I have also utilized them in more than thirty years of professional work with others as a life coach, educator and psychotherapist.  I offer them to you to try, adapt, and practice as methods to nurture your own growth.

Please send this issue to any friends who might be interested.  Also, I would welcome your thoughts or comments on this newsletter.  Have a great month!

Warmly,

Natalie

Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com 

P.S.  Interested in some support in clarifying your purpose or taking action on your purpose?  Contact me for a complimentary coaching call to explore whether coaching could help you reach your goals!

"Clutter accumulates when energy stagnates and, likewise,

energy stagnates when clutter accumulates." 

Karen Kingston

Creating Space: Inside and Outside

Every new endeavor begins with making the space for it in our lives.  Sometimes we have a dream or vision of what we want to accomplish, but must first clear the space in our already crowded lives to make it happen.  The young farmer in the film, The Field of Dreams, illustrates this well when he believes in his vision of creating a baseball field in the middle of nowhere, so that baseball greats from the past will come to play on it.  Encouraged by his now-famous motto, "build it and they will come," he first must clear space out of his cornfields, which are the major source of income for his family.  This was necessary to make room for his dream to be brought to life. 

Other times, creativity springs from the momentum of clearing out clutter, letting go of old ideas, objects, or habits that are now acting as obstacles for the flow of creative juices.  Have you ever faced a creative deadline, like writing a paper for a class, and found yourself cleaning the house or organizing your closet instead or writing it?  Perhaps procrastination is not the only reason for this….perhaps the urge to clear space is a trigger for the creativity needed to write the paper!

Creating space by clearing clutter is relevant in many dimensions of our lives. I discuss examples from four dimensions here:  physical space, time, relationships, and our internal experience of ourselves.  I hope these examples will inspire you to consider other ways you want to create space in your life…

Creating Physical Space

Creating physical space doesn't need to be done in the large, theatrical dimensions of the movie example above!  For me, clearing space to concentrate on a particular project can mean simply clearing off my desk of all the papers and other distractions.  Then, I place on the desk only those materials that are directly relevant to the project at hand.  Creating space doesn't need to mean clearing all the clutter from the room, or the entire house, or building an addition onto the house to create the perfect space envisioned in your dreams.  It could, but it can also be as simple as clearing off the extra chairs in the dining room so that guests can join you for a meal. 

Sometimes we can create the environmental space we need by moving ourselves to it...we go to the woods or the park to find fresh air and nature; we go to a house of worship to find vast space and quiet; we go to a gym to have the space we need to exercise.  Creating or bringing ourselves to a physical environment conducive to our needs is key.

Creating Time

Crating physical space is not the only way we may need to make room for something new in our lives.  Hand in hand with the environmental space is the dimension of time.  We must make a time in our lives for what we want to create.  On our calendars, our tangible representation of time, we "block out the time" to focus on what is important to create in our lives, and to resist the pulls of other distractions.

Creating space for something new requires a time and a place for it.  This is not enough - but it does create the conditions for something new to grow.

Relational Space

Relationships need space to be nurtured and to grow, so they do not get cluttered with outworn habits and stagnate.  In my therapy work with couples, I am always reminded of the importance of making space for the relationship: a unique dynamic, energetic creation of the joint efforts of the two partners.  Creating space for each individual in the couple is also important, but more easily remembered. 

Environmental stress - such as caring for children, aging parents, financial or work demands – can usurp the “we” space in a relationship.  When this is more than a temporary imbalance, the relationship is being asked to withstand greater stress while being denied the nutrients it needs to stay strong and healthy.  The conflict which can emerge becomes a kind of clutter which both reflects the stagnation, and reinforces it.  Entering couple’s therapy is one way couples find to both create space and time for relational growth and clear away some of the clutter.  How do you nourish your relationships?

Creating Inner Space

A final way to think about creating space is within ourselves - in our own minds and being.  Sometimes multitasking is necessary, and we can even enjoy the challenge of juggling many things at once.  Indeed, technology is increasingly tempting us to do more than one thing at a time, such as talking on the phone while driving, surfing the web while using other computer programs, etc. A recent study, however, suggests that multitasking could actually be doing us more harm than good.  People who spent time stopping and starting tasks took 2-4 times longer to complete them.  In addition, brain scans showed juggling tasks reduces the brain power available for each.  Over time, stress hormones from multitasking can damage memory centers in the brain.  Clearing the space to focus on one task at a time, especially on a new or complicated task, results in both better efficiency and memory.

Various practices of concentration, or of mindfulness, can help to create internal space.  In concentration, our attention is so focused on one thing - the candle flame, our breath, a mantra, music, gardening - that other distractions simply fall away.  Our minds are focused, without being cluttered.  Some call this state of concentration "flow".  In mindfulness practice, we become aware of the constant activity of the mind.  Instead of getting caught up in or attached to the endless potential distractions, we allow them to float into and on out of our inner space like a gentle wind or flowing river.  Rather than internal clutter, acceptance and spaciousness grow in mindfulness.

Clearing space in your life – whether physical space, time, relational space, or inner space –doesn’t automatically result in a new idea, program, or creative work.  It does, however, provide the conditions for these to emerge. Is there something you want to grow in your life: Writing, entertaining friends, meditation practice, exercise, making music, other activities?  Try beginning by creating a space for it in your life by clearing out what will get in your way.

~  Action On Purpose Challenge  ~

Determine where you most need to create space in your life, and begin to clear the clutter away.  Here are some ideas:

1 - To clear clutter in your home or office, pick one room, or one part of one room, or one surface...and clear it entirely of everything except what you want to see there.  Take a photo of the space you created. Then, for the remainder of the month, make sure you pause to look at that space every day to enjoy it, and feed the desire to keep it clear of clutter.

2 - Create some sacred space in your calendar.  Block out time to do something that really matters to you.  Draw a box around it in your calendar, and let nothing encroach on this time.  (If something urgent does come up, which happens, then move the box to another place in your calendar.)

3 – Create some special relationship time with a significant other.  Set up a time, go to a mutually pleasant place, and agree to enjoy being together and resist discussing any areas of contention or responsibility for the allotted time.  Have fun!

4 - Begin, or reinvigorate, a meditation practice, taking the time to sit quietly, still the mind, and discover the vastness within.

"Breathing in, I see myself as space.

Breathing out, I feel free."

Thich Nhat Hanh

~  In the News  ~

On June 20th, I'll be co-presenting a workshop on Relational-Cultural Mindfulness & the Brain as part of the Jean Baker Miller Summer Advanced Training Institute at Wellesley College, June 19-21, 2008.  For more information:  www.wellesley.edu/JBMTI/sti.html

Are you contemplating retiring from your career or making some changes in your life/work balance? As a certified facilitator for the 2Young2Retire course, I am preparing to offer the course by tele-conference soon.  If you are interested in more information about the course and updates on the time and starting date, click here.

Would you like to share your kind words about Natalie's coaching, facilitating, speaking or writings?  If so, please send them here.  We gratefully welcome your comments.

Check out my new website at www.EldridgeWorks.com, my virtual professional home.  Find information about coaching and psychotherapy services, as well as more about me.  I would love to hear your comments about the website, or the Action on Purpose newsletter.  Contact me at Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com.

Dear Friend,

Welcome to the second issue of Action On Purpose, the monthly newsletter of EldridgeWorks.com.  I hope you have enjoyed working with your affirmations over the past month! 

The purpose of this newsletter is to share with you simple and effective tools for personal, spiritual and professional growth.  I have used these tools in my own life, so I know their power as well as their challenges.  I have also utilized them in more than thirty years of professional work with others as a life coach, educator and psychotherapist.  I offer them to you to try, adapt, practice and to nurture your own growth.

Please send this issue to any friends who might be interested.  Also, I would welcome your thoughts or comments on this newsletter.  Have a great month!

Warmly,

Natalie

Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com 

P.S.  Interested in some support in clarifying your purpose or taking action on your purpose?  Contact me for a complimentary coaching call to explore whether coaching could help you reach your goals!

"If I had to limit my advice on healthier living to just one tip,
it would be simply to learn how to breathe correctly."
Andrew Weil, M.D.  
 
"For breath is life, and if you breathe well
you will live long on earth."
Sanskrit Proverb
 

Breathe and Be Here Now

Focusing on the breath is both an ancient tool for enlightenment and a modern healing practice. Since we are always breathing, the opportunity to work with our breath is ever-present.  This powerful tool has many practical applications.  I will highlight three ways to consciously utilize the breath:  to calm and relax ourselves; to nurture mindfulness; and as a metaphor for life.

Calming & Relaxation

Breathing is both an automatic physiological process, and one we can easily learn to regulate at will.  Cultivating a habit of deep, smooth and rhythmic breathing has been shown to positively influence the heart rate, blood pressure, circulation, and digestion.  Most of us naturally breathe in a deeper, more rhythmic way when our bodies are at rest, or asleep. 

Since you have more control over exhalation, focusing on your outbreath can be a good place to start.  To deepen your breathing, use the muscles between your ribs to push the air fully out of your body.  The inhalation that follows will be fuller in response.  Place your hand on your stomach while you breathe. If your hand moves outward with each intake of breath and inward as you breathe out, you probably have it right. Take a full 4-5 seconds breathing in, pause briefly, and then breathe out for at least 5 seconds. Pause and repeat for several minutes. Think only of your breathing.  If it's hard to concentrate, you might count the seconds as you exhale: one one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand, four one-thousand, and so on. Focusing on your exhalations a few minutes each day helps you learn to breathe more deeply.

Have you ever noticed that when you are stressed or anxious, you start to breathe in a quicker, more shallow fashion and can feel ready to “jump out of your skin”?  You know the expressions: “can’t catch my breath” or “waiting to exhale?” Yoga teachings have long indicated that the breath, energy, and mind are linked, and that calming one will calm the other two.  As you develop control over your breathing, you can begin to return to this deep breathing at times that you feel anxious or overwhelmed, bringing about what Herb Benson termed “the relaxation response”.  This is a particularly useful tool in any performance situation, when dealing with conflict, or as an aid to concentration when fatigued.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness can be described as an awareness of the present moment, with acceptance.  It is the state of being awake, or waking up from the habit and delusion we often exist in.  As mindfulness practice grows, awareness expands until all experiences can be found in the present moment, as each moment is a doorway to the infinite. 

It is useful to have a focus point to help us draw our attention to the present moment, and to bring our attention back to when it wanders.  The breath is a wonderful tool for this purpose, and the central one for many types of meditative practices.  To practice mindful breathing, we simply need to pay attention to the experience of the breath moving into and out of our bodies, right now.  We can awaken ourselves to the moment very quickly, with just a few mindful breaths. Taking the time to string many of these moments together, breath by breath, is what the practice of mindfulness meditation is all about.

Metaphor for Life

For me, the breath also serves as a metaphor for living.  We do not have control over our breathing completely.  We cannot stop breathing, nor continue to live if our breathing ceases.  Still, we can choose to enjoy our breathing, to be aware of it and grateful for it, to practice deep and calming breathing, and to use it as a tool to influence other aspects of ourselves in healthy ways.  So with life, we can choose to fully live the life we have right now.

~  Action On Purpose Challenge  ~

 1 - Do the deep breathing training above for 3 to5 minutes twice daily. You will improve your ability to settle yourself and increase your confidence in applying this procedure. To learn more about breathing techniques, check out Dr. Weil or Relaxation Response.

2 - Use this method of focusing on your breathing for 1 to 2 minutes any time during the day when you need a moment of relief. Instead of tensing up in heavy traffic or waiting for an elevator, try a balanced breathing break.  A few deep breaths when you sit down to a meal, before you begin to eat, can help you enjoy the food more and aid digestion.

3 – Already able to calm your breath at will?  Try the mindfulness practice of simply paying attention to the breath moving in and out of your body.  Don’t try to control the breath, or judge your breathing…simply be aware of it.  If your mind wanders, bring it gently back to the present moment of your breathing.  Here are my favorite words to focus my mind:

“Breathing in, I am aware that I am breathing in.
Breathing out, I am aware that I am breathing out.”
Thich Nhat Hanh

~  In the News  ~

On June 20^th, I’ll be co-presenting a workshop on Relational-Cultural Mindfulness & the Brain as part of the Jean Baker Miller Summer Advanced Training Institute at Wellesley College, June 19-21, 2008.  For more information:  www.wellesley.edu/JBMTI/sti.html

Are you contemplating retiring from your career or making some changes in your life/work balance? As a certified facilitator for the 2Young2Retire Course, I am preparing to offer the course by tele-conference soon.  If you are interested in more information about the course click here.

Would you like to share your kind words or testimonial about Natalie’s coaching, facilitating, speaking or writings?  If so, please send them here.  We gratefully welcome your comments.

Check out my new website at www.EldridgeWorks.com, my virtual professional home.  Find information about coaching and psychotherapy services, as well as more about me.  I would love to hear your comments about the website, or the Action on Purpose newsletter.  Contact me at Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com.

Most Boomers Will Not Retire 

The 2Young2Retire Course Offers Other Options

Retirement will cease to be the choice for the majority of baby boomers, according to recent research, and lack of funds is not the driving motivation for this dramatic change.  What will replace retirement?  The 2Young2Retire Course, a six-week teleclass led by Natalie S. Eldridge, Ph.D., will help participants answer that question by discovering what is next for them.  

The first wave of baby boomers turned 60 in 2006.  The largest, most demanding, and most examined generation in history is already facing up to a future that looks nothing like their parents' second half of life. Thanks to medical advances and information about health, baby boomers can expect to live long lives.  Many are looking for direction to make the extra years, beyond the midlife drive to succeed at any cost, more personally meaningful. That's what this course is about.    

The 2young2retire course uses materials from the popular website, 2young2retire.com and book, Too Young to Retire: 101 Ways to Start the Rest of Your Life (Plume 2004) by Howard and Marika Stone.  Each class is limited to a small group of 8-12 participants.  Participants call in for each class to address key issues such as money, wellness, career/work options, small business opportunities, and community service. Independent journal-writing and working with a buddy between sessions provides depth and richness to the experience. This powerful, interactive learning experience will help participants clarify intentions, set goals and take action, while supporting other group members who share similar objectives. 

The time and start date of this class are not yet finalized.  If you are interested in enrolling in the teleclass, please click here and you will be sent the updates via email.

Natalie S. Eldridge, Ph.D.

Certified Facilitator

For more information about the work of 2young2retire, see www.2young2retire.com. 

Kindly forward this newsletter to anyone who may benefit.

Dear Friend,

Welcome to this inaugural issue of Action On Purpose, the monthly newsletter of EldridgeWorks.com.  The purpose of this newsletter is to share with you simple and effective tools for personal, spiritual and professional growth.  I have used these tools in my own life, so I know their power as well as their challenges.  I have also utilized them in more than thirty years of professional work with others as a life coach, educator and psychotherapist.  I offer them to you to try, adapt, practice and to nurture your own growth.

Please send this issue to any friends who might be interested.  Also, I would welcome your thoughts or comments on this newsletter.  Have a great month!

Warmly,

Natalie

Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com

P.S.  Interested in some support in clarifying your purpose or taking action on your purpose?  Contact me for a complimentary coaching call to explore whether coaching could help you reach your goals!

“Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul;

 unbelief, in denying them.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Affirmation:  The Foundation Tool

The use of positive affirmation is one of the most versatile and powerful tools you have to strengthen, clarify, and inspire you toward your purpose.  Our inner lives are actually full of affirmations and denials; those things we believe and accept as true, and those we reject or cannot accept.  The conscious use of affirmations helps us to adjust and rejuvenate the lens through which we see ourselves and the world…and that can make all the difference!

In the service of motivating yourself and increasing the confidence to take action, choosing to affirm who you are as you are now is primary.  Making an inventory of what attributes, capacities, skills, or traits you already have is key.  Be aware that these are often things you take for granted, and so may be less visible to you at first glance than the attributes you want to change!  “I am a loving presence.” “I am confident on the dance floor.”  “I am a competent and creative employee.”

As you develop confidence in affirming who you are now, the next step is to affirm your capacity to grow.  Here your affirmations will target those areas that you don’t feel so great about by affirming your capacity to change:  “I can be a patient parent.”  “I can change my diet in healthy ways.”  “I can speak my mind at the office.”

Finally, once you feel secure in your belief that growth and change are possible for you in these target areas, then you can begin to affirm what you desire to become…your goals.  “I will feel good about myself today.”  “I will improve my grades this semester.” “I will be successful in love.”

A truly powerful affirmation combines an aspiration for the future with the truth of the present into a simple, meaningful statement.  You are affirming that what you aspire to be is already present within you.  I like the image of watering the seeds of what you want to grow within…acknowledging that the seeds are already there, and that nourishing them will help them to develop.  What are the seeds within you that you want to see grow?

Guidelines for taking action with affirmations:

Pick a focus. What is it you want to affirm in yourself or the world?  If new to using affirmations, I advise picking a strength you can already identify in yourself. If you feel confident in your strengths, you might choose an area of your life you want to strengthen:  your health, your financial success, your loving nature.  Is your aspiration more global -  that peace is possible, that hope endures, that abundance is unlimited?  Identify what is within you that you want to affirm today.

Generate a list of 3-5 affirmations that speak to you, right now.  It is important that an affirmation has meaning for you, and says exactly what you intend it to.  For this reason, I usually advise people to craft their own affirmations.  However, many find that an affirmation others have used can speak to them in profound ways.  If you are new to using affirmations, or you are feeling uninspired, try reading various affirmations to get a feel for them before crafting your own.  A library, bookstore, or Internet search will lead you to a wealth of examples of positive affirmations.  In crafting your own affirmation, you might want to use a simple format such as, “I am a (insert adjective) (insert noun).”

Here are a few examples in this form:  

I am an incredible artist.                                   

I am a firm and patient parent.              

I am a powerful advocate.                                

I am a dedicated exerciser.

Or experiment with the form, as in:

I welcome success into my life.

I am growing healthier every day.

My life is filled with love.

Generosity flows through me to others.

Choose one, simple affirmative statement.  Stay with it for a period of time, perhaps a month, to really allow it to take root in you.  There are so many wonderful affirmations to choose, but skipping from one to another doesn’t allow the kind of unfolding that a consistent, daily practice can nurture.

Write it down.  Whether it is an affirmation you have crafted, or one you have heard or read somewhere, write it down in your own handwriting and put it where you will see it often.  By writing it down, you are creating a tangible, physical representation of your affirmation in the world.  Whenever you see it, it is an external reminder of what it is you are affirming. So put your affirmation where you will see it often!  I like to write my current affirmation on an index card and place it prominently on my desk. Others may put it on a mirror, where they eat, or on their computer.  How about using the first letter of each word of your affirmation as a password…so you’ll have to recall it every time you log onto your computer?

Give it Voice.  Literally, give it voice by reciting it out loud often, at least daily, for a period of time.  How about a month?  For many it is best to pick a particular time to recite it…while driving to work, or opening your planner, or preparing your breakfast.

Observe what happens over time as the affirmation grows and takes root in you. 

  
~  Action On Purpose Challenge  ~

Using the steps above, come up with a short list of meaningful affirmations, choose one, write it down, and say it aloud at least once a day for the next month.  Observe the impact, over time, of affirming your truth.

 ~  In the News  ~

Check out my new website at www.EldridgeWorks.com, my virtual professional home.  Find information about coaching and psychotherapy services, as well as more about me.  I would love to hear your comments about the website, or the Action on Purpose Newsletter.  Contact me at Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com.